The Kenya Connection

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!  Today I am feeling relaxed after the holidays and excited as I consider a new year ahead.   I did not give up my coffee as a resolution so am enjoying a large mug as I write.   Why make a resolution you know you will break?  The Rift is clear as the brightness of dawn slowly drives the darkness away.   We are in our "summer" here in Kenya although being near the equator our days don’t lengthen substantially.  Still we don’t have to cancel school or flights due to snow conditions.

2010 has now become a memory.  I find it valuable to look at the year before the memories fade too much.  Sometimes all we remember are the very high and the very low points.  Small victories and faithful service can be forgotten quickly.    Time for another sip or two of coffee.

Work and family- I will divide.  

CURE has continued to be blessed with a busy, fruitful ministry.  The mobile clinic teams traveled throughout Kenya seeing somewhere near 7,000 children.  AIC-CURE Kijabe again performed over 2,000 operative procedures.   Now over 30 clinics specializing in the non-operative care of the child with clubfoot deformity have been established in Kenya.   What started as a small project and dream by Dr. Theuri has grown to correct over 3,000 feet.   CURE leads the way in Kenya training both medical providers and family counselors for this very treatable deformity.

Our orthopedic residency continues to mature and grow.  CURE again took the top award for the fellowship training level as Dr. Nguku secured the Gold Medal to add to his other certificates.  CURE has accepted residents from Moi University in Eldoret for orthopedic rotations.   CURE is starting studies of several diagnostic categories to take a closer look at outcomes as well as ways to improve our care.  One resident is taking an away elective in South Africa.   2011 will be a major landmark as our first residents will complete a Kijabe COSECSA orthopedic training program. 

When I arrived in Kenya there were no Kenyan orthopedic residency training programs; I dreamed of CURE being a player in orthopedic education.  Five years ago we started; every year we get a little bit better and more organized.  2010 was a banner year as we now have a Kenyan program director for the orthopedic residency.   I am thrilled!

Multiple building projects were started in 2010.  Although the applications were all made at different times and different locations, the awards and start dates all clustered.  We had a German grant to design and construct a playground for the hospital patients as well as neighborhood children.  Two grants combined to take our CURE brace shop and give the team an opportunity to reach for the stars.  We are nearing completion of a new facility; a container containing brace shop equipment is approaching the Kenyan coast as I write. 

In 2005 we applied for a special US grant for 2 structures.  In June we started building a conference/ office center as well as a housing unit for our residents.  This week roofing was placed on both facilities.  All of these structures will enhance our capabilities.  For CURE Kijabe to truly impact the needs of the physically disabled children we must be active in education.  Education will increase awareness and help to rid Kenya of the myths surrounding these children.

We had many educational conferences in 2010.  Many lectures were geared for our residents and medical staff as we continue to seek knowledge to improve. CURE organized conferences for instruction in the Ponseti Method of clubfoot correction.   CURE had conferences for workers in the area of disability.  CURE shared our holistic approach of Emotional, Spiritual and Physical healing of the child and their families.  CURE ran a non-operative orthopedic care conference for the providers up near Mt. Kenya.    The Letourneau University LEGS team and CURE Kijabe had a workshop on the LEGS prosthetic knee joint.  We had orthopedic technologists from all over Kenya learn the theory and fabrication techniques of this life changing artificial limb.   CURE had members share the vision of CURE as we seek to transform lives of the physically disabled Kenyan child and their family.  Lectures and teaching will help to build knowledge; experience and guidance will help knowledge to grow into wisdom.

2010 was another year of blessing as people and organizations stepped up to help make this ministry possible.  CURE International has grown from this initial hospital on the Rift to a relatively large international medical-spiritual outreach with hospitals in 10 countries.  Many supporters join together to allow CURE International to reach around the world serving those in need.  I never take these gifts lightly; without the assistance of so many people CURE International would not exist.  2010 was yet another year where hope was shared, lives transformed, and love was shown to many who have few options in life.  Thank you all!!

2010 was a year of change for the Mead family.  Jana and Tim had their first time as "empty nesters"when Abby graduated from the Rift Valley Academy and went off to Michigan State University.  Michael is still with us of course but he attends a boarding school in Nairobi; Hillcrest is the best and closest school we could find that would accommodate Michael’s wheelchair.  The hills and stairs of RVA are not wheelchair friendly.   Jana and I discovered being just the two of us once again was not devastating as some described but rather fun.  We miss our kids but enjoy being just us together.

Jana started a new program where she is teaching basic sewing techniques to groups of ladies.  Jana has joined projects in Mahii Mahu down the hill and Maji Moto out in the Mara.  Jana is acting as a consultant in starting up the programs and also teaching the sewing on treadle sewing machines.  The projects hope to teach marketable skills to women in need.  The projects are very impressive and the goals attainable with work and dedication.  I will share the story at another date; the work deserves a better introduction.

Jana also has kept very busy quilting.  Kijabe has numerous colorful quilts decorating facilities.  You can travel to the RVA music building, Titchie (Grade school) cafeteria, Kijabe Hospital maternity, Dental offices, CURE nursing station, CURE private ward and CURE OR lounge to see samples of Jana’s work.  Jana has a special gift in this artistic work I could never even attempt.

My work has continued to be centered on the CURE Kijabe hospital.  I have entered a time where I am trying to develop better and more leaders for the facility.  I am working with Dr. Nguku as he assumes the leadership role of residency director.  I meet with several CURE leaders and together we explore leadership development in the staff.  Initially, many of the day to day decisions appeared to run to me; now we are talking about responsibility and authority of our CURE leaders.   People need to assume the leadership responsibilities of their titles.  Most are very excited; most find these principles different from Kenyan experience.   

My joy is watching as a young man or woman grows and matures as they serve at CURE Kijabe.  I rejoice at growth whether the person works in the kitchen, the operating theater, is an orthopedic resident, or where ever they serve.  All our work is critical to the CURE Team.

What do I envision for 2011?  Many opportunities are sitting just outside of my vision and grasp asking to be pursued.  I have taken time to dream about CURE Kijabe 2011, CURE Kijabe 2015, and my role in CURE.  I would love to sit and share them with you all.  Today my coffee is finished; the sun is rising.  Maybe I will write out my plans another morning.   My plans are always just my "best guess" anyway. 

Prior to Kenya I planned to work full time as a private orthopedic surgeon in Michigan until I was 62, making a few short-term mission trips to Central or South America, and learn Spanish.    Don’t laugh!  These were good plans.  But God had not the good but the best in mind.  When I agreed to let Him run my life I am allowed to dream and plan but in the end I bow before Him.  I enter the unknown and embark on the life adventure

In His Grip,
Tim 

 

 

Merry Christmas

Greetings from the Great Rift Valley!!!  As I hear tales of snow and zero degree temperatures I smile and enjoy the temperate climate of Kijabe.  Kijabe means "place of winds," which arrive nearly every evening as the warm air of the valley rises to the sinking cool air of Kijabe. 

Kijabe resides near the equator at over 7,000 feet of elevation.  Our "winters" of June and July are often cloudy with daytime highs in the 60-70’s and evening cold in the 40-50’s.  People bundle in thick coats and hats for the terrible cold.  In the "summer" of January and February  we will reach the 80’s but the winds drop the temperatures into the 60-70’s each evening for sleeping comfort. 

Although my Midwestern blood is thinning over the years I still enjoy the climate of Kijabe and consider it nearly ideal.  When disturbed by the early morning chill I seek out a quilt and sip a cup of great coffee and all is right again!

Christmas time here in Kijabe is often very quiet.  The 500 Rift Valley Academy students have returned to their home countries.  Many people are taking time away from work.  The number of overseas visitors diminish significantly.  We have some times of celebration but not nearly the shopping pressure of the States.  Life somewhere in between may be the best. 

Christmas a truly a time of celebration when we remember how Christ left all his glory behind to come to earth.  The routines of work duties, the hectic pace of shopping and open houses, the times of families and friends, the loneliness of separation, the financial pressures—all are part of life at the Christmas season.  But Christmas is much more than these.  Christmas is the hope in which we live. 

We are so special that God left heaven to come down to our situation so that we could understand His love.  To have such love is beyond my comprehension.  We did nothing and do nothing to deserve or earn God’s love; we must just accept this love as a gift.  “Merry Christmas!” should always bring a smile of joy within as we remember the special gift open to all.

We are blessed to have Michael, Abby and Aaron coming home for Christmas.  Ben and Laura will remain in Nevada hosting many family and friends.  Becky will be home in Muskegon active with the Middle School ministry.  Michael has finished his first term of the British style A levels.  I am proud how hard he studies and how well he does.  Michael has made dramatic improvements in schooling over the years.  Michael had little formal schooling in Sudan.  Michael has a dramatic story some day I will share with his permission.

Abby arrived in Kenya from Michigan State by way of Amsterdam.  Flying in the winter can be a challenge.  Abby’s flight out of Detroit was delayed 4 hours.  The cargo door was frozen open and then after changing planes a loading belt was frozen stiff as well.  I shiver at the thoughts!  Thankfully the flights went well.  We are thrilled to have Abby here with us.

About 1AM on Saturday morning we received a call from Aaron.  Aaron was to fly out Friday night from Chicago.  His flight was cancelled-too much snow in Amsterdam.  Instead he has been rebooked to leave Sunday evening which means he arrives in Nairobi Monday evening.  His time in Kenya was to be limited; we did not need this delay.

Travel is still challenging despite all the advances.  Jet lag is a real entity which can disrupt you significantly.  The travel takes two long days with a transfer somewhere in London, Amsterdam, Ethiopia, Dubai or others.  Having time together as a family however is well worth the costs, time, stresses and jet lag.  Empty nesting is fun but we do miss our crew!!

Many people in Kenya travel "up country" to their home area during the holiday season.  The roads become even more congested.  The number of police stops also rise.  Buses are packed and form caravans as they swoop and dodge their way along.  Unfortunately, many people are injured in road traffic accidents as well. 

At the Kijabe Hospital a large number of patients arrived with multiple fractures this week.  Dr. Theuri and I were consulted for unstable spine fractures.  Tuesday Dr. Theuri and a resident reduced and fixed a fracture in the upper lumbar (Lower back just below the ribs) spine in a young woman.  Thursday Dr. Francis Mbugua, a CURE senior orthopedic resident, and I dealt with a burst fracture in the lower thoracic spine. We were blessed with a rather large male patient making the surgery a lot of work.  Both patients are improving slowly and should recover. 

Seatbelts are becoming more common and in some vehicles mandatory but many people still do not take advantage of this safety device.  With the dangers of Kenyan road travel any available safety device should be used.  Celebration of Christmas in any hospital is never a joyous time when compared to being home with family and friends.

We at CURE Kijabe close the hospital for two weeks at Christmas.  In the past we had stayed open but found few scheduled patients arrived as planned.  Almost no children wanted surgery at Christmas time when they are on break and expect family fun.  Rather than run inefficiently we have selected this time to make special cleaning efforts, repair and paint the building, and allow the staff time with their families.  Refreshed we will open with a hectic week January third.  The surgical schedule is packed full. 

That week we will also be having CURE medical directors and executive directors arriving for the CURE International meeting January 8-12.  Our staff will provide many tours and presentations of our work here on the Rift.  Jack Muthui, CURE Kijabe executive director, has many details to pursue in the next few weeks.  I will be finishing several talks scheduled at this meeting and other meetings to follow in the month to come.  We look forward to getting together with members of the CURE International team worldwide.  In addition to the main office in Lemoyne, PA, CURE has offices in various regions of the US and UK. 

CURE opened its first hospital in Kijabe, Kenya in 1998.  Since then hospitals have been built in Uganda, Malawi, Dominican Republic, Honduras, UAE, Afghanistan, Zambia, Ethiopia, and Niger.  International programs in the treatment of clubfoot and cleft lip and palates have been founded in other countries as well.  CURE International has been blessed with phenomenal growth opening doors for medical care in many countries.  Where will God lead CURE next?  Only He knows; we will continue to serve fully in His will and firmly

In His Grip,
Tim

A Week Full of Clinics and Clubfoot

Greetings from the Great Rift Valley!!  I have returned inside from a brief stroll through the cool morning air.   The stars were shining brightly in the inky black sky.  The few patterns I know jumped out to greet my imagination.  The Milky Way stretched across the western sky with its multitudes.  The grass was cool and refreshing under my bare feet.  A dog barked in the far distance to the north; otherwise, all was quiet.  Enjoying my coffee, I watched as time changed the view.  Slowly the sky shifted from black to gray and stars disappeared from view. 

The nighttime celestial show rapidly faded in intensity; birds began to sing to announce the coming dawn; and the details of the Rift regained their sharp definition.  Although many have called me crazy, I find the time between times in the early morning special.  TV has never been a thrill; books are great; but the changing drama of the early morning never fails to intrigue me.  Today I am enjoying a coffee I have never had – it comes from the country of Burundi.  The coffee's flavor is very different from Kenyan coffee and a nice change.

We had yet another hectic week here at CURE Kijabe.  Many children came to us.  We had mobile clinics in Mombasa and also Embu.  Wednesday was a very busy CURE Kijabe clinic.  USAID staff members came to inspect our use of their donation on Wednesday as well.  All in all, we were productive.

I thought I would give an update of little Abigail from Burundi.  Abi and her mother Libby arrived at CURE Monday night; Abi had surgery Tuesday morning.  Surgery went well.  Although sore, Abi was soon playing again.  Our kitchen staff even made her favorite food – pancakes!  Libby and Abi flew home late last week.

I enjoyed meeting another aid worker.  Libby and her husband work with street kids and young adults in Burundi.  Libby tells me that as a part of their mission, they teach young men and women to sew. 

The first six months, the students work, learning basic sewing, making patterns, and gaining needed skills.  Then, if all has gone well, the student is sponsored to work as an apprentice with a tailor for an additional six months. 

At the end of the time, a final evaluation is done.  Successful students are given a treadle sewing machine and some supplies to start out on their own.  Libby told me that this is their attempt to break the cycle of people living on the streets.  Of course, sewing is not all one needs to make a successful transition; these young ones come off the streets.  Time is spent on social, financial, and spiritual development. 

The mission works to create a support network for the graduates.  Wow!!  I love to hear about other people’s work.  We all are given our talents and gifts; some use theirs to make lasting changes in the world.

Thursday I was with the CURE Team that traveled to Embu clinic.   Embu Town sits up by Mount Kenya.  The clinic serves the surrounding area and is usually busy.  In 2011, we will be adding a clinic, Meru Town, to this clinic run to expand our services further north.  No longer will this be a single-day marathon; it will change into a several-day safari.

We left Kijabe in the darkness of 5:00 AM.  Although the stars were beautiful, driving in the dark is not fun.  I would much rather wander the backyard.  Many of the roads have no painted lines to define your place; trucks therefore often select the middle half as theirs.  Drivers appear to enjoy driving with their bright high beams on.  Speed bumps, animals and people are ill-defined in the dark.   As the sky lightens and the sun rises, my shoulders relax, and the trip becomes more enjoyable.

We took some winding alternative roads off toward Thika Town to avoid the dusty mess of the road construction around Nairobi.  We did not miss all roads under construction, but the alternative route was nice in the early morning.  We passed through groves of coffee trees and rejoined the main road near the Thika pineapple fields. 

Nairobi continues to stretch out with housing areas springing up in what were once rural areas.  We eventually turned north to make the final push toward Embu.  Rolling hills quilted with shambas (garden fields) of differently-shaded green crops were subdivided by the tall broad leaves of the banana. The sky had now transitioned from black to a beautiful pink-tinged gray and then finally to a brilliant blue.  We were getting close!

The hills dropped away and the flat lands now changed into rice fields.  The rice plants were now yellow and ready for harvest.  Even at the early hour, many people were already at work.  Trucks overloaded with bundles of rice stalks lumbered along the road.  Heavy white bags of rice lined the fields.  These bags were later to be transferred to small ancient trucks for transport from field to processing.  Small wooden carts pulled by donkeys or hump-backed bulls were pressed into service as well. 

Harvest time is always a busy time for farmers the world over.  Mt. Kenya loomed in the background, shrouded with a misty veil.  We finished the trip in good fashion and arrived in time for a brief breakfast.  I had a fresh andazi – a not very sweet doughnut-like food similar to a sopapilla – and a coffee (instant, I am afraid – nasty).

We arrived to a crowd of people gathered around the clinic site.  Heavy boxes of records, braces, and casting supplies were freed from the roof and sorted to the various rooms.  People crowded together as songs filled the air.  Our spiritual team shared some thoughts with the families present.  Numbers were handed out, and the medical portion started up.  I was working with two CURE residents – Francis Mbugua and Paul Mang’oli – seeing the children.  We worked steadily throughout the day until all were seen.  Lunch?  My lunch was sips of water between patients.  I was told more than 140 kids registered, as well as a few adults seeking advice.  We loaded the car and said “Kwa herini!” at about 4:00 PM.

The roads were now full of cars and slow-moving trucks.  We did a quick stop at a rice mill.  This was the first time I was in a mill.  The dust was irritating, but the smell of the rice was pleasing.  Many of the staff purchased rice there or in surrounding shops.  Rice is an important staple food in Kenya.  The Basmati rice from this region is well-liked. 

Finally, we arrived in Kijabe at 7:30 PM.  I was glad to be off the road and back home.

Friday we had some surgical cases to finish the week.  At noon, there was a special celebration at CURE Kijabe.  Parents and children who participated in the CURE Clubfoot Worldwide clinics arrived to share stories, educate each other, and learn how they can reach out to other children in need of treatment for their clubfoot deformity. 

Dr. Theuri started the program for conservative treatment of clubfoot deformities here in Kijabe in 2005. Since then, there have been nearly 200 people trained in the Ponseti method of treatment.  More than 30 regional clinics see children and report to CURE Kijabe.  More than 3,500 feet have been corrected using this method. 

A national counseling program runs in tandem with the manipulation and casting.  We know the care of the child and family is much more than just stretches and plaster.  We still need the ESP care of CURE.  Ever so slowly, we are seeing a change.  We do fewer surgical corrections for clubfeet, but those we do treat are older and much more complicated.  As we struggle to restore a far-neglected clubfoot, we realize just how important the early intervention is for the kids.  All in attendance appeared to be having a great time. 

Thank you, Dr. Theuri, for serving

In His Grip,

Tim

Acting on a Popeye Moment

Good morning from Kenya!!!  Happy Thanksgiving!!  Although American Thanksgiving is not a national holiday here in Kenya, we still took time to give thanks and celebrate with friends.  We selected Wednesday as the day for our feast; several of our orthopedic team were leaving very early Thursday for an orthopedic COSECSA meeting in Kampala, Uganda.  Thanksgiving is a great day to celebrate with a crowd of people, so we searched for and found a large turkey.  Jana organized and created some traditional dishes of potatoes, carrots, squash and pumpkin pie to surround our main guests.  Friends added some traditional foods from their culture to ensure no one went hungry.   Add in a group of giggling kids and we had a true feast to celebrate and be thankful. 

We have much for which to be thankful here at CURE Kijabe.  The fact that this hospital exists to serve the physically disabled children is not to be taken lightly.  Many challenges have had to be overcome throughout the years for CURE Kijabe to survive.  We are thankful for all who have helped to make CURE Kijabe’s work possible.  We have recently been blessed with new building projects, a playground area for kids, and safety on the outreach mobile medical/spiritual clinics.  We have had many children come to CURE for our ESP care.  Jana and I celebrated 30 years of marriage this year for which I am thankful; I have been blessed with a special wife.  The list goes on and on.  I find it helpful to stop every once in awhile, find a quiet place, and realize just how thankful I should be.  Happy Thanksgiving!!  Oh yes, I am also thankful “Black Friday” does not exist in Kenya.  I don’t even have to think of excuses for not going out to the malls and entering the frenzy.

This week was extremely hectic here at CURE Kijabe.  The Kenyan schools closed, so kids who were waiting until exams were completed all flocked into the hospital.  Very few of the kids appeared to have “simple” problems.  We had kids with severe burns; complex spinal deformities; angular deformities of the tibias - lower leg - that challenged our abilities; bony defects to bridge; congenital hand deformities; a child from Somalia who lost a portion of his forearm in the past to a shooting; crooked feet; crooked elbows and more.  In addition, we went across to Kijabe Hospital to assist two adults by replacing a hip in one and a knee in the other. 

Of course, they were not simple cases.  Add onto this a CURE Board meeting Tuesday and orthopedic staff and residents leaving for the COSECSA meeting, and you find the days starting early and running long.  But the sunsets were spectacular!!  Thanksgiving was fun!  My coffee just seemed to be special all week.  Although the hospital is still too full as we await this week’s schedule, we know work is better than no work.

On Monday, CURE has a child arriving with her mother from Burundi, Africa.  This young Abi was referred in a circuitous fashion until the Mom spoke with me.  This little girl is a miracle child.  About 5 years ago there was an uprising with many people killed.  Abi’s biological parents were killed, and Abi sustained a gunshot amputation of her arm.  Then, as happens with traumatic amputations in children, her bone kept growing to stretch the skin and cause problems.  We will live up to our name “International” and extend our care to this child from Burundi.  Although the operation she needs is technically easy to perform, there is no one in her area to perform the operation safely.  I know talented individuals live in Burundi; we need to continue to push for orthopedic education throughout the African continent.

Orthopedics is not about special knowledge or a special country; you must have the opportunity to learn and teachers to teach. All these doctors seek is a chance. The needs are immense and, when viewed as a whole, the task may appear too much to tackle.  All tasks start with a first step followed by many more small steps.  If you never start, there will never be a resolution to any problem. 

Whether your heart breaks whenever you hear of poverty, illiteracy, malaria epidemics, bad or scarce water, starvation, orphans, slavery, or whatever, you need to listen.  Bill Hybels wrote a book entitled Holy Discontent.  He quotes that famous Saturday morning cartoon prophet Popeye the Sailor man, “That’s all I cans stand; I can’t stands no more!”   Maybe you have had that Popeye moment but failed to act.  The problem is too big.  You may feel inadequate. The sun rose in the east today.  We all have reasons not to try.  But if you don’t, who will?  Maybe as Queen Esther in the days of old, you were born for a time such as this.    

Stepping out of the crowd will draw attention to you.  You may fear or not want this brand of attention.  There were be times of trials and definite risk to your current lifestyle.  Sometimes you will feel beaten down and overwhelmed; other times you will soar and know you are where you belong.  A life where you avoid all the risks offers no guarantees other than future regrets.  Being in a lukewarm life is not to be desired but rather shunned. 

Life is meant to be lived with enthusiasm, thankful for each day you receive.  Life is a gift not to be wasted but to be invested.  We can invest in things - retirement plans, Black Friday specials we don’t need, toys for all ages, and more; all will be left behind when we die.  These things were not ours when we were born.  These things will become someone else’s after we are gone. 

Instead, we now seek out people to serve their needs.  We lay down worldly significance in titles, income or ego and seek the significance of the God we serve.  Through God we can draw our strength and courage.  We can then step out boldly, saying, “I can’t stands no more!” 

Boldly we step up and face our giant because we know we are firmly in and supported 

In His Grip,

Tim

Refreshing, Rejuvenating, Refocusing

Greetings from the Great Rift Valley!!  We are back.  The sun is up; fluffy mountains of clouds float among the gentle cirrus stripes crossing the sky.  The wind is gusting boldly, waving the trees and ringing our camel bell.  It is good to be home.

Last summer in our travels around the U.S., we stopped at the CURE International main office in Lemoyne, Pennsylvania.  As we entered the familiar facility, we found many changes.  The layout of the offices has morphed into smaller, more functional units.  I discovered a small studio for filming and editing.  I was lost in the corridors more often than not. 

Jana and I touched bases with old friends and met new people at CURE U.S.  I was then off for a series of brief meetings; Jana went to spend the day with her friend Audrey.  I enjoy face-to-face meetings much more than emails, attempted phone conferences (usually a disaster in Kenya due to technical problems) or memos.  All other alternatives to face-to-face meetings lack the full communication picture.  That is why time at CURE U.S. is important - to put faces to names.

During one meeting, an option to consider was offered to Jana and me.  We have been living overseas as for nearly 12 years now.  Despite having many Kenyan friends and acquaintances, Jana and I will never be Kenyan.  We will always be outsiders – wazungu.  Likewise, as we live longer away from the U.S., we lose track of some of the American culture.  Our kids have grown and are now very far away in school or work.  Changes.  Sometimes a retreat away from “home” will refresh and refocus us, preparing us for further service. We have faced many difficult challenges this past year; the retreat sounded like a good option.

Scheduling the time away was not all that easy.  We looked at our schedule and the center’s and found more conflicts than openings.  Suddenly, on Thursday, November 4, we received a call that there was a cancellation and we were to leave the next day.

After my Leadership Summit meeting in Nairobi Friday, I came home and finished quickly packing.  Jana and I then headed back to Nairobi’s airport.  We took an overnight flight and landed in France.  What a great getaway place, even though the weather was not stellar!

We ended up in Montpellier, in the southern region.  There we met Robert and Deb, who would work with us.  We spent a few intense but great days.  The words responsibility, authority, boundaries and listening filled many hours.  Responsibility without authority; responsibility with authority; assuming responsibility for others' failures; boundaries at the door; and so on.  Many times, I knew what was true and what needed to be done, but the heart just failed to follow. 

Jana and I plan to remain working in medical missions for an indefinite period of time.  This time away has truly refreshed me and given me new insight as to the way forward.  I thank CURE for sending us.  I thank Robert and Deb for creating such a retreat place. 

I thank God.
I remain firmly and joyfully  
In His Grip,
Tim

The Flu, Surgeries and a Great Learning Experience

Good morning from the Meads!!  I have arisen very early today for some reason.  The place is a little strange from my home, the bed a little short.  Jana and I are away from home.  I will share that story next week.  This was an unexpected trip.

The week was filled with a variety of work and lectures.  Monday started off poorly as the flu really knocked me down.  I slept and drank large quantities of water and black tea.  I worked as possible from home, hoping to recover my strength for Tuesday. 

Thankfully the ENT team is here for two weeks.  They are repairing kids with cleft lips and palates.  This week alone they did nearly 50 operations.  Unfortunately, the flu eliminated many children from surgery as well.  The flu has been a nasty one, affecting many around here.

Tuesday my strength had improved.  We had a busy schedule with two total hip replacements and a spinal surgery to do.  As I made early rounds, I found one of the patients vomiting and febrile…the flu.  One down.  The other two people were fine so we went onward.  I attended a quick meeting as the residents prepared.  The cases went well. 

Wednesday was a busy clinic day at Kijabe.  Patients came to see the orthopedic team but also children arrived for the ENT team to see as well.  I was blessed with many smiles and demonstrations of improved running.  Many candy rewards were offered on this day!

The end of the week was special for the Kijabe team.  Many years ago a man named Bill Hybels from Willow Creek Church had a vision for a leadership summit.  The Summit was for people in leadership positions in the church, business, Parachurch and whomever.  Bill felt there was not enough leadership training available for leaders based on Christian principles.  I first went to a Summit conference many years ago when I was home for a break.  The conferences were well received and deemed very valuable.

But that was not enough!!  The world needed access to this teaching.  Hence, the Global World Summit.  I heard about a Summit being held in Nairobi the day after it started last year.  I found DVDs of the past events we purchased and then used the DVDs for teaching.  I loved to listen to the various leaders share their wisdom.  We decided this year for sure!!

The flu again knocked our numbers down a little but off we went early Thursday and Friday mornings.  The traffic in Nairobi was terrible but we made it.  The conference was monitored by a group of Kenyan leaders and supported with materials and even a Praise team.  Several hundred people were in attendance.  Each speaker was projected onto a big screen.  All talks had been recorded at the mother conference in Willow Creek Chicago area and now were available here in Nairobi and throughout conferences around the world. Technology can be amazing! 

I had a booklet like I would have received in Willow.  I can access the online materials,if my Internet works.  I can share the event with members of the CURE team and others I knew at the conference over chai and later.

I purchased a set of DVDs for this year’s conference for our Friday leadership training conferences.  Thank you, Bill Hybels, for the vision!  Thank you, Willow, for making it possible!!  Thank you, speakers, for all the work in preparation!

The leadership conference is one I recommend.  You can learn more at the Willow Creek Web site.  Bill talked about his Holy Discontent and how this helped to birth this event.

From the flu and bathroom to the Summit I traveled far this week.  But the week was not over. 

More to come next week as I travel

In His Grip,
Tim

 

Inspiring Boldness

Good morning from Kenya!  Each day this week I awoke and looked outside and saw glistening leaves on the fan palm.  Short rains have been fighting the endless battle with the red dust of Kijabe.  The grass is thriving on the rains and is rapidly raising the level of the field next door.  Several bald spots have appeared as young men and women have come with their pangas to slash the grass, pack it into large white bags, and carry the grass home to hungry animals.  My bees are very active, darting in and out of the hives. Flowers are blooming, allergies are worsening, and gardens are sprouting. All people around are praying the "short rains" will continue for at least another month.

We had special visitors in Kijabe this week—Dr. Lew Zirkle and SIGN leader Jeanne Dillner.  In 2005, the Kijabe orthopedic group was introduced to a new rod system designed for treatment of fractures of the long bones—tibia and femur—of the lower extremity…the SIGN nail.  Dr. Zirkle had worked with a design team of engineers, doctors and manufacturing specialists to seek to assist people all over the world. The effort is called SIGN (Surgical Implant Generation Network). Their mission: “Creating equity of fracture care throughout the world.”

Lew saw the enormous need for bringing access to excellent fracture care to the entire world.  When the breadwinner of the family sustains a major injury of his femur or tibia, the entire family is at risk.  In many parts of the world, the options for treatment are poor.  The U.S. rods are expensive and require fancy machines such as a C-arm portable x-ray fluoroscope to put the rods in.  In many countries patients are often left lying in bed for months on end or are placed in plaster.  Infection is common. The fractures often heal poorly or not at all.  Meanwhile, the family suffers as well as the patient.

I recently read a book that brought to mind Lew’s experience.  The book was written by Bill Hybels and is entitled Holy Discontent.  "Holy discontent" is that situation, people group or need that drives you to anger or distraction.  “This is not right!!” often follows the perception.  Many people shrug their shoulders and declare the problem as just another fact of life on earth.  A few choose to act.

Scott and Sally Harrison saw the needs of the physically disabled child and formed CURE.  Lew Zirkle saw the needs to bring everyone the opportunity for optimal fracture care and created SIGN.  You know others who took a bold step in the face of huge challenges, garnering little support and much ridicule at first, and pushing toward the goal of eradicating their holy discontent.

SIGN currently has projects in 47 countries all across the world.  More than 70,000 people have benefited from their caring, teaching and empowering surgeons.  SIGN is called into the areas of disasters, such as Haiti.  SIGN responds to the needs of civilians caught up within the war zones. It instructs surgeons in the techniques needed to use the nail efficiently.

SIGN also listens to suggestions of modifications needed to improve.  The nail first started for tibias. Then in the far East, the surgeons turned it upside down and it became a femoral nail.  SIGN responded and made a true femoral nail. The complexity of fracture patterns evolved the rod constructs even further, expanding the indications for use.  Are they finished modifying and adding capabilities?  Not as long as SIGN continues to listen to the treating surgeons, engineers and patients.

The volume of fractures in the world has taken a sharp upward turn lately. Small motorcycles have become commonplace in the developing world.  To have three-to-six people piled on a small motorcycle is a common sight.  Add on the trucks, cars, donkeys, bicycles and more, and the road congestion worsens. Road traffic accidents are very common.  Kenya is climbing into the world’s top 10 for RTA victims!

The SIGN nails are designed to be locking rods that can be placed without a C-arm.  You can put them in from the top or bottom of femurs.  There is a compression screw and tension band side plate you can add for proximal, comminuted fractures.  I am excited that SIGN has a new pediatric nail.  It has a proximal lock and a distal fin to assist with rotation.  CURE Kijabe will be a trial site for using the nails for reconstruction surgical procedures.

I loved to watch Lew interact with the CURE orthopedic residents and our orthopedic staff.  Together they did a number of surgeries; six people arrived over the weekend at Kijabe Hospital with femur fractures to add to those awaiting surgery.

Some of you may wonder about this activity when I say CURE Kijabe seeks to transform the lives of the physically disabled Kenyan child.  Does it fit? I think it does if you take the long view.  First, I am getting a new technique which will directly assist the surgical care of kids.  But that is really only a small part of the benefit.

 In order to provide a lasting change in caring for physically disabled Kenyan children we need to improve  medical care within the country.  If kids are treated correctly by well-trained, capable orthopedic surgeons, we will prevent many deformities and the resultant disabilities.  If we have a strong group of talented Kenyan orthopedic surgeons, they will become a vocal medical advocate in Kenya and East Africa.  If orthopedic care is more readily accessible, then kids will be seen, evaluated, and cared for by these surgeons or referred to our CURE Kijabe facility sooner.  If I am hit by a car or runaway donkey and break my femur, there are good implants and capable surgeons right here to restore my function.

I am thankful that Jeanne and Lew took time out of their busy travels to come to Kijabe. I am thankful Lew saw the huge need and took a bold step to create SIGN.

We had an opportunity to have the entire orthopedic group and their spouses over to the house for nyama choma (grilled goat) and other foods.  We were able to relax and enjoy each other’s company as we “tested” the meat while it roasted.  I have loved to listen to Lew and hear his story.  Every time I hear the details of a journey from holy discontent to tentative start-ups to seeing the first fruits to dreaming of the future, I smile.  Boldness in others can inspire boldness within you.  

Maybe there is that one problem in your town or life experience that just drives you crazy.  Rather than avoiding it, maybe you need to come closer.  Maybe you are just that one person needed to say, “Enough!”  

Will you be scared?  Probably.  Leaving a zone of comfort is never easy.  Will there be battles to fight?  Without question.  Will there be distractions and "helpful" people wishing to lead you away from your vision? Undoubtedly.  The loss of focus is a common cause of failure.  Is the problem big enough, important enough to seek a solution?  If this is truly the holy discontent you are called to, the answer is yes.  

Throughout history, major changes have started out with a single person with a vision, coupled with the boldness to step out in faith and risk it all. Although many friends, colleagues, and even family will declare the efforts foolish, I find the determination awe-inspiring.  After all, I am a member of a group that started as a mere 11 young men and a few young women who followed Jesus and left with steps of faith amidst persecution to share the truth all over the world.

They traveled, as do I, In His Grip,

Tim

The Feast of Life

Greetings from Kenya!!  I awoke early this morning to the sounds and smells of rain.  The winds would burst forth and then ebb away, driving the rain against the metal roof.  A background drumming followed the direction of these winds.  Outside, all was very dark; sky and earth have merged.  As I searched the yard from the open window, the fragrance of rain brought a smile to my face.  Rain is truly a blessing here in Kijabe.  Today, instead of a stroll around the yard, I quickly brewed a cup of coffee and grabbed my warm quilt.

I was pondering what I should talk about this week.  Several ideas have floated through my brain.  Some were merely a flash and then disappeared as vapors.  Others could not seem to formulate into a series of thoughts.  A word jumped off a page of the book I was reading – “feast.”  I think of a feast as a celebration involving large quantities of food and drink, a boisterous crowd, and attendees in fancy dress ready to party.  Over the years I have attended some great feasts. Some feasts created long-lasting memories.  Others were merely nights of fun.  Recently, I was witness to two amazing feasts.  They had similarities; they had differences.  You may find the story interesting.

The first feast was the brain child of an Rift Valley Academy student up the hill.  Students live in a society at RVA where we often discuss what it means to be a servant and to be a good steward of our resources.  This student observed that the RVA students are cared for in many ways by the Kenyan staff.  Kenyans fulfill many roles throughout the school.  They are guards, cooks, computer assistants, facility maintenance workers, electrical and mechanical maintenance workers, business office personnel, librarians, secretaries, and more.

The idea tossed out for consideration was creating a special night feast for the workers and their spouses.  The students and staff would say thanks in a tangible way for all the hard work offered on their behalf.  The idea took on a life of its own.  The first big question was, “How do we pay for the feast?  We want it to be great!”  

RVA is a boarding school for the majority of the students.  The students figured the costs and then 100 students volunteered to skip breakfast and an additional 100 students volunteered to skip dinner one day.  The money that would have been spent on those meals was taken and placed in a fund for the special dinner.  Teachers volunteered to man security booths during the feasts.  Other volunteers arranged to cook.  The tables were decorated in true feast fashion.  Special treats for each attendee – a soda and a seedling tree ready to plant – were assembled.  The night was planned; the excitement grew.

Jana volunteered to care for Sammy and Givan’s kids while they attended.  I served as a chauffeur. 

Sammy and Givan are RVA guards and friends of ours.  They arrived dressed to the “nines,” as the old saying goes.  Givan and his wife were dressed in formal Maasai attire.  Sammy and his wife were dressed in a more Western dramatic fashion.  Wow!!  What striking couples!! 

The event was loved by all.  Later the attendees were assisted home, and the student cleaning crew restored the kitchen and rooms.   The students learned that serving costs something.  In this case, 200 meals were skipped and hours were given to plan, create, and clean up the feast.  People arrived dressed to party and enjoyed the time.  Unexpected feasts can be remembered and enjoyed for some time to come.

I was proud of the way students took the time and effort to think of others and give visible thanks for all the work others do on their behalf.  Yes, the workers do receive a salary, but something extra can make all the difference.

The other feast involves a mixture of guests dressed in their finery as well.  This feast also has a cost.  Different members have different roles as some obtain the main course.  Others arrive to continue the celebration, and finally others come to finish and restore the healthy environment.  This feast takes place in the Mara.

It was initiated by the hunger of a pride of lions.  The lions usually tend to hunt in prides, with the females leading the effort.  The large males are known for their impressive manes, fighting to protect the pride, but not necessarily participating in the work of hunting. 

The cost was paid by a wildebeest.  The wildebeest is a funny-looking and sounding animal.  The legend is the wildebeest, or gnu, was created from the leftovers of 6 animals—horse, buffalo, zebra, hyena, donkey and antelope.  It makes a repetitive moan as its call.  It travels in herds and migrates through the Mara to Tanzania and back.  It is the favorite food for the big cats and crocodiles.

The feast starts as the lions eat their fill, and their bellies drag low to the ground.  Lions look very docile and even cuddly as you see them lounging in the brush.  Those visions are dispelled as you watch them attack their lunch.  The lions slow their eating, and the next crew starts assembling at the periphery.  Loping gait, thick jaws, noisy bellicose attitudes mark the arrival of the major clean-up crew – the hyenas.

The Maasai have songs of thanks for the hyenas.  Hyenas help restore the Mara so it is healthy for the kids to play and people to live.  Without them, half-eaten rotten carcasses would defile the land.  The hyenas sometimes join to chase away the last few remaining lions, and then their feeding frenzy begins.  Noisy squabbles break out as battles over “choice” meal selections.  On occasion the vast majority of the meal is completed at this stage, but often the donor is large, and food remains, for the time being.

There are no worries of food remaining long at this feast.  Circling high above or perched in nearby trees, a variety of guests patiently await their turn – various buzzards and vultures.  Now, many people think of vultures as ugly critters.  They note the long, nearly nude neck for entering into cavities.  They note their squawking, harsh voice as they poke at contenders.  These traits do exist, but some vultures are really quite striking in appearance and come dressed to the feast, like the bird Ntutu says they call the Pale Face Vulture.  What a headdress and fancy pants!

Rather quickly, the wildebeest moves from lions to hyenas (and a bold jackal or two) to the vultures and buzzards.  Only small remnants are to be cleared by God’s small creatures.  The Mara then returns to its previous state.

Both feasts are celebrations.  The first feast celebrated work well done, and the second feast celebrated life.  Both feasts cost something to establish.  The first took some sacrifice by the students and staff of RVA; the second required the skills of the lion and the life of the wildebeest.  Both feasts were enjoyed by the participants.  Both feasts allowed the site to be returned clean to its pre-feast state.  The RVA feast will be remembered as a special community event; the second feast is a necessary gathering so many can live.

The rain has slowed to the faintest whisper.  The view of the Rift remains a dark wall.  My quilt has warmed me outside, and the coffee warmed me inside. Feasts bring many thoughts to mind this cool morning.  I remember a special goat feast with friends on the Mara.  Many years ago, Jana and I attended a medieval-style feast complete with a roasted pig decorated with sparklers. A “wild game feast” at our old lake house was indeed a special one.  Many other feasts emerge out of my memories as my mind wanders. 

All will pale to the greatest feast of all that awaits me.  I look with anticipation to the day when I leave this earth and join in the eternal feast.  Heaven will come down; earth will be restored. We will bow down and worship.  Until this time comes, I will remain working, living, and serving

In His Grip,
Tim 

Coincidence? No Such Thing.

Greetings from the Great Rift Valley!!  Once again, I am back in Kijabe, sipping my coffee and enjoying the view.  We have had some rain over the past week which has brightened the lawn and assisted my lettuce in sprouting.  Soft green grass cushions my feet as I stroll to check out the bees and the fruit trees.  The bees are already at work; I think we may have a December harvest this year.

Last week we enjoyed our visit out to Maji Moto.  Jana and I have become friends with some amazing people affecting their world in far-reaching fashions. 

This story all starts with a “coincidence.”  I prefer to call it a divine appointment.  Quite a few years ago, Mark and his family visited Kijabe.  Mark is a plastic surgeon who was volunteering at CURE.  We appreciated his efforts, but I found their time off afterward to have a lasting effect.

Mark and family went to the Fig Tree Resort in the Mara.  While there, they met Andrew, a balloonist.  Andrew shared a story about Tison, who was hit by a hyena.  Tison sustained a fracture of his femur which healed poorly, leaving a right-angle bend in his thigh.  Tison couldn’t walk without hopping while using a stick.  He no longer could work.  Mark assured Andrew, “Tim and the CURE crew can fix him!”

Accompanying Tison was a woman named Nasha.  Nasha was a woman from Turkey who was living in the Mara and assisting the Maasai.  Nasha was a little scary to meet at first but became our friend.  Jana would make lunch for Nasha; Nasha would find and bring disabled kids to CURE. 

Helen, Nasha’s friend, is a teacher.  Jana and I would go out to visit Nasha and the Maasai in her area; Helen would join in for the fun.  Nasha returned to Europe a few years ago, leaving Helen with a choice.  Helen could return to solely teaching and abandon the other projects she and Nasha started, or not.   Helen’s heart led her actions.  Her dreams and accomplishments continue to grow.

Helen is a Maasai woman living in Maji Moto who cares for two major groups of people.  She founded and is developing “The Village of Protection.”  The Village is the new home-area for Maasai widows. 

The Maasai traditionally are polygamous.  For example, a man may be in his 70’s when he takes a 5^th wife in her teens.  When the man dies, the widows have few options and even fewer rights.  Often they are left to roam.   Remarriage is not common as the widows’ families would be required to return the bride's price. 

Maasai women do not own property; Helen is changing this.  The women are taught bead work to sell.  They are also given a solar charger for a battery that they use to charge cell phones for a fee.  They have progressed to an internet café-like room.  Remember this is all out in the wilds.  Now the women own goats and even cows; meat and milk provide more income.  Helen is teaching about gardening.  The women have a circle of manyattas on Ntutu’s land and are under his protection.  Ntutu is a young Maasai man and the community chief of Maji Moto.  These women dream of owning their own land in the future, though.

Helen also has a special project with young girls.  She rescues them from forced marriage and circumcision and offers schooling as an option.  We met a young girl who at age 9 was supposed to get married!  Now she attends school and is performing very well.  “Don’t trade girls for cows!” is the project’s motto.

Helen met another woman from Poland who had been stranded in Narok Town by her tour group for three days—another “coincidence!”  The two struck up a conversation, and the short version of the story is that Helen now has a school building and dormitory.  She painted the school a bright purple and calls it her purple cow.  The school is a gift to the community.  Unlike regular cows of brown, black, and white, her purple cow doesn’t die or get sick.

 

The education will teach about Maasai traditions, as well as the usual subjects.  Helen is truly an amazing woman.  She has become friends with our friend Carol and traveled to the U.S. to share her stories.  I love to hear about Helen’s adventures to the States!

We have known Ntutu, the community chief of Maji Moto, for several years as well.  We met Ntutu through Nasha and Tison.  Ntutu serves as a tourist advocate for Kenya, traveling to various countries and sharing the stories of Kenya.  Ntutu always wears his traditional Maasai attire and is an impressive young man—very chiefly, as we say!

Ntutu also serves as a guide for tourists, and me too!  He arranges walking safaris as well as the more traditional driving safaris.  Ntutu has a wide range of knowledge of birds, plants, and animals.  My son, Aaron, and his friends did a day-long “warrior camp” to learn the Maasai way.  They threw spears, flung rungus, had a mock battle, learned about plants, started a fire with a stick and a wood base, learned some Maasai dances, and of course jumped with the guys.  A great day!  Ntutu donates a portion of all fees to local community work. 

He encourages education and vocational training.  He looks for sponsors for water projects to assist communities, and he dreams of a car for the community’s use.  Ntutu can drive well but has no car.  When a person is injured, gets sick, or has a difficult birth, Ntutu is often called and he goes in search of transportation.  Sometimes they arrive at the hospital too late, sometimes never at all.

Helen and Ntutu are two special people each doing their part to make their world a little better.  The needs are overwhelming, as is usually the case, but they step out boldly to do what they can.  Others join in and soon changes are apparent.  I don’t believe in coincidences any more. 

As I sat and enjoyed a cup of chai around a fire with Ntutu, I was thankful Mark took a balloon ride, Andrew voiced a need, Nasha came along, Jana stepped out in friendship, Helen joined in the effort, Ntutu leant his support, patients arrived and were treated, and I developed a special group of friends.  Ashe!  Thank you!  Life is an adventure when you live 

In His Grip,

Tim    

P.S. – Tison is doing well and works for the Fig Tree Resort.

 

Why I Love Africa

Greetings from the Rift!!  We have had a few heavy but brief rains this week. One day hail even drummed on the metal roofs obscuring all hearing for a time. Today the sky is a dull gray lumpy covering that shelters pockets of mist throughout the valley. A halo circles the nearly full moon.  The grass in the yard is a thick soft green blanket just asking you to sit upon it. 

I sat for a time in our porch swing enjoying the smells and sounds of the morning.  A cup of great coffee, a million dollar view and a quiet morning—what a great day.

The past week was filled with numerous children visiting our operating rooms. We ran the gamut of CURE Kijabe orthopedics, releasing burned extremities, correcting clubfeet, straightening bones, excising abnormal masses on limbs, dividing digits, and fusing spines.  

One day this week I was asked what I enjoyed most about living in Africa.  I had to pause and think.  I know I love the African kids; I am here to serve them.  The kids bring me great joy.  I enjoy time with my Kenyan friends.  The roads?  Well, no I can not say they are thrilling me.  The food?  Again, the different foods are good and often interesting, but I have enjoyed foods of other countries more I think. 

What makes Africa special to me are the animals. I am a frustrated Game Park Driver. I love to seek out animals and admire the beauty of creation. We have traveled the Mara and have observed herds, prides, packs, flocks and gaggles of markedly different appearing animals.  Sometimes we have been accompanied by Maasai friends who have special insights and capabilities to show us animals hidden to our sight. 

We have ridden boats on Lake Baringo and seen huge Goliath cranes, striking fish eagles and birds of many sorts.  We have hiked with camels in the hills and valleys of the northern Samburu country.  We have baboons and Sykes monkeys invade our yard.  We have witnessed the drama of a lion pride eating its meal of wildebeest. I have chased Kori bustard birds until they stretch their monstrous wings and zoom away. I have sat and watched as a dung beetle rolls his meal along the ground.  We have walked among herds of giraffe.  We have held the strange looking true chameleons watching their independent eyes roam.  The beauty and diversity of the animals of Africa is amazing.

As you look at the different animals you can often wonder just why they exist.  Why do the zebra have stripes?  Why are there so many species of weaver birds instead of just one?  Butterflies amaze me with their striking colors and patterns giving the landscape a special beauty.  Why are some animals considered noble and handsome why others are deemed ugly? 

Trying to fit all of these questions into a mere chance development of evolution requires much faith.  Rather I give up trying to propose theories I can never prove and just enjoy the result.  I think God made the variety just because He could and wanted to do so.

One animal has always been a favorite of mine.  I think my mother was the first one to interest me in
this critter.  He is not glamorous or handsome.  I don’t know of a variety of species as there are in some animals.  He is not fearsome; he will run at the sight of possible danger.  He hides in holes often made by others.  He kneels on his front legs to eat as he roots around the savanna.  His call fails to intimidate.  His official name is Phacohoerus aethiopicus.  We know him as the “warthog” or a more famous version “Pumba."

The warthog is fun to watch, but don’t get too close or they will raise their tails like a flag and in a cloud of dust be gone.  A while back Abby and I were driving in the Nakuru Game Park for a Father-Daughter excursion.  We were puttering along looking intently for animals.  Suddenly a crash and sounds of running erupted from beneath the car. 

There was a small culvert we were crossing that the warthogs had adopted for their home.  A large male dashed to a safe distance, and I am sure scowled at us.  Abby looked over the side of the car and saw a warthog head!!!  Both parties intently sized each other up.  I slowly crept across the seat and shot some pictures.  Finally, the warthog had enough and stormed out, tail unfurled, grunting his displeasure at being disturbed so early in the morning.  We laughed.  Warthogs are really so ugly they are cute. 

There is much I love about Africa from the coffees-of course-to the people, to the beauty of the Rift, the lakes, rivers and oceans, the wide diversity of animals, and the subtle feeling of living I am just a little less independent and more In His Grip,

Tim